I watched Project Hail Mary with my daughter this week, and one of the most interesting things wasn't Ryan Gosling.
It was the gifting.
Before they share a language, the human and alien characters exchange objects: a model ship, a figurine, star maps.
What's being exchanged is more than information. It's attention, recognition, a desire for relationship.
As trust deepens, the offerings change. Objects give way to knowledge, knowledge to risk, risk to sacrifice. The gifts become less material and more costly.
The object is the opening move
The object was never the destination. It was the opening move.
A gift is evidence of movement toward another. The object is simply the visible residue of that movement.
The thing itself matters, but it is carrying something larger: attention given to another person, a willingness to move toward them, and an invitation to build something between you.
That is why the meaning of a gift cannot be separated entirely from the relationship in which it is given.
Something internal made visible
Maybe that's what gifting has always been: something internal made visible.
Not, here is a thing, but: I see you. I want to know you. I want to build something between us.